why unfit people (me) shouldn't cycle.

a bike ride.
last night i had one of those "i need to get fit" kind of thoughts, so i decided that the most logical thing to do, after like over an year of doing "f**k all", was to wake up early and go for a bike ride across rugged and untameable terrain. i set out wearing the most attractive cycle gear i could find, put on some bad ass white boy rap, and got the bike out of the garage. fully intent on powering on a mega bike ride so i'd immediately be as buff as "Dolph Lungermen" i left the drive, turned left and began cycling, half way through my first song, i was actually knackered, the asthma came back with a vengeance, making my lungs burn with each breath, my legs were sore, my head was pounding and not even the delicate ryhmes of MC Lars could make me feel fine. however, i'd always been taught that breathlessness is a good thing when it comes to exercise, so i powered on. getting more and more and more and more and more and more and more tired. like seriously, not even the cooling powers of H2O could settle me. and then eventually when the gods of fat kid's exercising brought me a hill to belt down, however after riding full tilt into 3 nettle bushes and 2 muddie puddles, i was suitably sore, wet and tired. it was at this point that i decided the most logical thing to do was take a slightly shorter ride home, however after many panting wheel turns....i missed the turning, as opposed to a short jaunt home i went a mammoth trek back, nearlly getting run over twice and nearlly tasting bitter sweet tar at like three times. the cars looked embarassed to be on the same road as such a terrible cyclist. eventually i found a way home that incorporated 3 mega hills, the wind in my hair nearlly blowing the sweat out of my hair, i emphasise "nearlly" i'm hoping that the more i do it the more i will improve, and eventually i will be like that really good cycle guy i saw on tv during the olympics.